Games

Oh I played patty cake last night and it was kind of fun :) Mom even marked the cake with a "C" for Chelsea. Totally cool but I never did get a bite of that cake.  People do the weirdest things. If you are going to play patty cake and mark the cake shouldn't you bake the cake for real in the real oven and share it?  The house didn't even smell like cake and no one even offered me a piece.  I'm not dieting geez.

Hiking

I went on a hike with my mom yesterday and it was so fun. We don't really go far.  Just behind our property is this wide open land and we walked there and hiked down a hill and then walked further.  I am the best guard dog. I walk ahead several yards to check it all out and make sure mom is safe to go there I run back to check in and make sure she is coming. Sometimes I just stop and look back to make sure she is still coming.  Every time I look back at her she tells me how damn cute I am.  Hiking I'm even cute can you believe that?  I keep the trail pretty safe.  On the way back mom must hate this little hill that she calls a mountain because she sighs when she gets to the bottom of it she looks up the big bad mountain and curses to Jebus then half way up she starts to get mad.  Of course by then I am at the top waiting for her.  Geez she just isn't as fast I am.  But I wait.  I will take photos of our hike next time. It is quiet and pretty.  Mostly quiet.  On the way back a guy on a dirt bike came buzzing back there but I didn't care.  He can drive all over the west and I just follow my trail back home.  Home is where I belong.  Home is where my bed is and my food and best of all my girlfriend.

Did I mention I haven't felt good for a few days?  I have had a bad tummy and the runs. I haven't been eating as much of my food as usual. Mom hasn't been home to dish it up.  When mom feeds me she makes fun of me and calls me roley poley.  Today I feel better and mom fed me two night in a row. When I don't get enough to eat I dabble at the morbid rations of dry food the other dogs are subjected to.  It is the nastiest stuff I don't know how they can eat it.  I was real hungry to stoop to such desperate measures.

I like to sleep by the open window in the bedroom while mom is doing stuff like surfing the internet.  Eventually I always end up in bed with mom.  Spooning her and breathing my quiet hum that seems to make her go to sleep so peacefully.  I think she loves me as much as I love her.  I think tomorrow we are going to make out.

Yummmmm

I never met an ice cream I didn't like.

So lonely

My mom was gone for so long. I know when I see that black and pink suitcase that she is leaving me.  Well I know that she is leaving.  On rare occasions I get to go too but not this time. So I see the luggage and I sit in the chair that I have claimed as my own by the front door and I sit back quietly and watch her every move. From the bedroom to the laundry room.  The bathroom to the bedroom.  The bedroom to the front door.  Front door to the car.  To the car.  To the car.  Eventually she kisses me byebye and says she will be back before I know it.  Well before I know it ---it has been a long time.  I want her to have fun with her friends just like I get to have fun with Bella and sometimes Gracie.  I was so happy to see my mom today when she got home.  I did the jumping bean dance for her but I accidentally piddled on the floor (it made me embarrased).  It didn't stop me from sticking my tongue in her ear! LOLLOLOLOLL I missed her so so so much.

My begging pose

When I get a treat I have to sit.  Then I have to shake.  After I shake I have to sit on my bum (see attached photo).  I love treats.  My favorites are the ones Aunt Michelle makes for me.

I have a friend who I just learned can stand on his head.  I must learn how to do this.  Mom would be so impressed!  When my friends mom comes home she is always amazed at the wonderful things he learned to do while mom was at work all day.  I'm going to have to get creative and learn something new too. Maybe in addition to my gymnastics routine on the side of the bathtub and record jumping level in the shower I could learn to cook dinner and have it ready for my mom when she gets home from work.  I won't even make her beg.

Fuffy

I got a haircut last night.  They seem to happen way too often.  It's nothing fancy. It would cost mom a fortune to take me to a groomer twice a week so she does it. We sit in the shower and she cuts my hair.  We tried a razor but it wasn't great. I hate my legs being touched and it freaks me out.  My feet are ticklish.  After my haircut I get a bath and a blowdry.  I look clean and white again.  Mom puts her nose close to me for a few days and cuddles me more than when I'm dirty.  I like this part.  But then again I also like playing rodeo dog in the dirt, eating horse poopie, licking my boy parts, farting, licking Bellas girl parts and killing mice and bunnies.  I think mom gets the short end of the stick here.  I have way more fun.  Then I have to have a haircut and a shower. So worth it.

Peek a Boo

My mom plays peek-a-boo with me.  I am so cute but it is not my favorite game.  Sometimes she uses my paws and covers my eyes.  When she pulls them away from my eyes and says peek-a-boo she laughs and laughs and tells me how cute I am.  Other times she uses my flippity floppity ears.  They are long enough to cover my eyes and I like this way better.  It is kind of scary because when she covers my eyes it gets dark and I'm afraid of the dark.  I can't see her either and I think she might have gone away.  No...peek-a-boo is not my favorite game at all.  I'm going to tell her so she will quit doing it.  We can find another game.  How about Twister?  Are my legs too short for that?

I'm so confined

I haven't been able to run around the house and play rodeo dog much lately.  We have company and they have a dog and I just want to keep the peace even if I don't keep the peace and quiet.

I miss my mom all day long and it's going to suck when Jerri has to go back to work because I won't be able to run around with my girlfriend all day and I'll have to be locked up in the shower where I can't chew on shoes or rugs or pee on anything.  The shower isn't so bad. It's warm in the winter and cool in the summer. I'm safe and I have an window office.  Personally the most fun part of it is seeing how high I can jump in there.  I am way past the midpoint because the towel rack is half way up and I jump way higher than that.  It's like I'm a jack in the box!  And mom makes this funny sound when I do it...pinggg, pingggg.  I don't get it.  From my scenic office door I can see my girlfriend all day if she would just stay in one place.  While I am lounging in my space though she is lounging in hers.  She likes to sit on the little rocking couch of my moms.  Mom got it from her stepgrandma and it is very special. I'm a little surprised mom lets Bella sleep on it.  She put a blanket on there so Bella doesn't ruin the cushions.  The only thing we have to worry about is the wall every time Bella jumps down and the back of the rocking couch hits the wall.  Mom grimaces every time she hears it.  No one grimaces at me when I jump in the shower.

I can talk

When I need to go outside to potty I say to mom "hrmmm". It's like a gruf from my throat and doesn't come out as a bark.  I will talk like this for awhile and each word gets longer and sometimes louder.  Very rarely do I escalate to a bark.  The bark gets me in trouble.

It's different when we are sleeping and I wake up and need to wake my mom up to go out and potty.  I use my little paws and just get close to her shoulder and paw at the bed.  If one paw doesn't work I lightly jump both of my paws on the bed to wake her up.  If THAT doesn't work I take a paw and smack her in the face. I guess you could say I bitch slap her but it is more of a tap.  Just put my paw up there and leave it there for her to know, "hey wake your ass up I need to pee".  If that doesn't work I have to start talking.  She is smart enough to know I don't talk in my sleep so she is the best mom ever and gets up at any hour to let me out.  My reward for her is to let her sleep through the night on occasion.  I'm getting better and sleeping through the night anyways, I'm not a baby anymore even though mom calls me her little baby boy. :) grrr

So Crazy

Sometimes I just need to run and run and run and run.  I really can run so fast just in the house that my ears fly back like I am sailing in the wind.  Lizards can't do that. Mom and I have been sleeping in the guest room because grandma and grandpa are visiting.  The bed is little and mom isn't very comfortable but it really is all the same to me.  I can cuddle on any sized bed really.

I had the chance to make a new friend but it didn't turn out so good.  Grandma and grandpa brought their dog but I just can't seem to like her.  It's nothing personal I guess.  There are just some things that don't click with me and Ally is one of them and really....I already have an awesome girlfriend.

I have gotten quite good at my treat commands.  I sit, shake and sit up on my bum all in a row now for my treat.  Mom talks about learning to roll over and that sounds like a lot of work but fun too.  I can play dead but only when I am put on my back already. You may not think it qualifies but it does because it is all in the eyes and paws.  I just have to pull my elbows up to my chin, stay on my back and be still for a few seconds and my mom gets soooo excited screaming, "what a good boy"! I keep telling you I'm awesome.