So mom was taking a bath and I was perched up on the counter above her head as I always do. I lay my horse smelling red dirt dusted ass on her clean towel and wait patiently for her. She drinks her wine and reads her book and sees a spider on the wall across from her near the top. Mom is not happy about this but I am not at all concerned so I sleep. The bath seems to go on forever!!! it's all good because I rest. Then I hear her say, "oh shit, where did it go?" I see that the spider is no longer up on the wall and in fact I cannot see the spider anywhere either.
The woman is paranoid, she looks every two minutes at the wall, the ceiling, the toilet! for a spider. When she is close to getting out she sees that down on the rug in front of the sink is this (actually quite large) spider. Her evil plan is to get out of the tub and get some tissue, as there are no shoes close by and she is alone, and kill the damn thing. She moves slow, stealthy like, scoots me off of her towel which is my sign to get the hell up and off the counter so I jump down.
Mom screams, "Chelsea get off the spider" "Dammit" "Kitty you're sitting on the spider" "UGH UGH UGH" "Chelsea move" "MOVE" Seriously I had no idea what the hells he was yelling about. I planted my ass down and lifted my left foot up to scratch my ear. She now thinks the spider is probably crawling on me and going to end up in her bed.....you know how she gets carried away. I stop, put my foot down, look at her while she is jumping out of the tub (bad naked) and she shooes me away with a tissue in her hand. I work my way up to my little paws and say "fine, fine I'll go". Underneath me is a flat spider.
You're welcome.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Dangers of 4 wheeling
I love 4 wheeling with mom and Jerri. I have come to notice that Jerri has purchased several new ATV's this year. I don't understand it, I just know that when Bella and Gracie have to go in the garage (because they are naughty and try to bite people, or DO bite people) my mama looks at me and I run OUT of the garage instead of in and then I try to guess which 4 wheeler we are taking!!!!
We go most nights now that it is nice out. I sit on the back of mom's 4 wheeler and ride snuggled up to her bum. It is warm there and I'm fairly safe. We go over a trail that mom calls the "roller coaster". It goes up and down, up and down, for a long time and it is sooo fun. I have seen the movie Due Date and I think that dog on the movie in the back of the truck is trying to be me when they go over those bumps.
We ride all over the place. I have biffed it a few times but I think it is building character. I cowboy up and get right back on and ride. The first time I had an ATV accident, and no I wasn't wearing a helmet, was when mom was out of town and I was riding with Jerri and grandma and grandpa. In fact now that I think about it, that was when I had my first 2 accidents. I was riding with grandpa and he went over a bump that threw me off. I was so freaked out and scared that I starting running away from him. I know he was calling my name. I know I was out in the middle of nowhere but who knows maybe he was a bad driver and I might not make it home alive! Well he figured I knew my way home and was headed there so he went on to find Jerri and Grandma. When they all caught up together Jerri was freaking out that I wasn't there. Of course she knew that mom would kill all of them if she came home and I was missing or worse! So in a huge panic Jerri back tracked and came to find me. She was on a green ATV, one I hadn't seen before and when a bike came around zipping real loud I crouched down behind a shrub. I was sooo scared. I was out there alone and a big loud machine with wheels was just yards from me. Then I heard Jerri's voice. "Kitty......kitty it's me, come here". She was on that scary green beast! I was so grateful she found me, I ran to her from behind that bush and she let me ride in front. That part was cool.
Riding in front isn't always as cool as it seems. She had to steer with one hand and some cussing about a clutch and gears and shifting and we hit a bump and next thing I knew I was flying in slow motion over the top of the 4 wheeler, this huge scary loud green beast! I looked back at Jerri as my arms and legs flew in the air as if to say, heeellllppppp mmmmemeeeeeeee. But it was too late. I had flown from her safe arms and the atv and was clawing at air.
Mom came home and was not at all amused by our stories of the wild ride weekend. I was fine and I'm a big boy, not to worry. (though I wish they had left out the part about me hiding like a sissy behind the bushes)
Tonight we went riding in the rain. It was cold and mom put me in her jacket. Not the most fun ride ever but after the ride when we parked at home, mom layed back in the quiet on the seat of the bike and I layed on her tummy and we watched the clouds gather into huge black thunderclouds. It was beautiful and I was safe with my mom. Every now and then you could see the 1/4 moon through the clouds while it rained lightly. I could feel her breath under my whole body and I knew I was safe even with the storm in the air.
We go most nights now that it is nice out. I sit on the back of mom's 4 wheeler and ride snuggled up to her bum. It is warm there and I'm fairly safe. We go over a trail that mom calls the "roller coaster". It goes up and down, up and down, for a long time and it is sooo fun. I have seen the movie Due Date and I think that dog on the movie in the back of the truck is trying to be me when they go over those bumps.
We ride all over the place. I have biffed it a few times but I think it is building character. I cowboy up and get right back on and ride. The first time I had an ATV accident, and no I wasn't wearing a helmet, was when mom was out of town and I was riding with Jerri and grandma and grandpa. In fact now that I think about it, that was when I had my first 2 accidents. I was riding with grandpa and he went over a bump that threw me off. I was so freaked out and scared that I starting running away from him. I know he was calling my name. I know I was out in the middle of nowhere but who knows maybe he was a bad driver and I might not make it home alive! Well he figured I knew my way home and was headed there so he went on to find Jerri and Grandma. When they all caught up together Jerri was freaking out that I wasn't there. Of course she knew that mom would kill all of them if she came home and I was missing or worse! So in a huge panic Jerri back tracked and came to find me. She was on a green ATV, one I hadn't seen before and when a bike came around zipping real loud I crouched down behind a shrub. I was sooo scared. I was out there alone and a big loud machine with wheels was just yards from me. Then I heard Jerri's voice. "Kitty......kitty it's me, come here". She was on that scary green beast! I was so grateful she found me, I ran to her from behind that bush and she let me ride in front. That part was cool.
Riding in front isn't always as cool as it seems. She had to steer with one hand and some cussing about a clutch and gears and shifting and we hit a bump and next thing I knew I was flying in slow motion over the top of the 4 wheeler, this huge scary loud green beast! I looked back at Jerri as my arms and legs flew in the air as if to say, heeellllppppp mmmmemeeeeeeee. But it was too late. I had flown from her safe arms and the atv and was clawing at air.
Mom came home and was not at all amused by our stories of the wild ride weekend. I was fine and I'm a big boy, not to worry. (though I wish they had left out the part about me hiding like a sissy behind the bushes)
Tonight we went riding in the rain. It was cold and mom put me in her jacket. Not the most fun ride ever but after the ride when we parked at home, mom layed back in the quiet on the seat of the bike and I layed on her tummy and we watched the clouds gather into huge black thunderclouds. It was beautiful and I was safe with my mom. Every now and then you could see the 1/4 moon through the clouds while it rained lightly. I could feel her breath under my whole body and I knew I was safe even with the storm in the air.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Running the dogs
My mom has begun taking ATV rides. For the most part I sit on the back and snuggle up to her bum and ride there. I LOVE ATV rides! We ride though a part out back in the acres of BLM land where there is a part of trail she calls the roller coaster. WHen we get to the beginning she yells to me, HOLD ON KITTY. We fly through these dips and mounds, ocassionally I looke like the dog in the back of the truck on the movie " Due Date ". I have fun. It is awesome to spend time with mom. In the great outdoors, fresh clean air and lizards to chase, birds to hear. Sometimes we go at night and I'm not scared. During the day when I need exercise she let's me run. I run next to her and we race. My ears fly back in the wind and it is sooo fun. I come home red from the sand and then I get my bath. it is the best. The big dogs don't go much because they can't be trusted. I'm includeing a video of mom running me to tucker me out so I will sleep well. I have a good life. the great outdoors call my name. And I've only been thrown off twice. I walked it off.
Monday, January 3, 2011
New sweater
Have you seen the movie Diary of a Shopaholic? I think if my mom could she would be that girl. Instead she brought me home a sweater that I didn't even get to go pick out. I'm going to pretend I don't like it for a little while mostly because it is 11 degrees outside. It's nice and warm, people will even say it's quite handsome on me instead of that red snowflake one she has for me. I won't act snobish for long because I want to wear it rather than the snowflake one. The best part about this sweater is that Auntie Arlys gave it to mom for me. Bella is a little put off because it smells like other boy dogs but I'm not worried because I know I'm her main man. I'll get mom to take a picture of me in my new sweater and I'll post it.
Now all I need is for my Auntie Michele to take me shoe shopping.
Now all I need is for my Auntie Michele to take me shoe shopping.
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