Crawly things

So mom was taking a bath and I was perched up on the counter above her head as I always do. I lay my horse smelling red dirt dusted ass on her clean towel and wait patiently for her.  She drinks her wine and reads her book and sees a spider on the wall across from her near the top.  Mom is not happy about this but I am not at all concerned so I sleep.  The bath seems to go on forever!!! it's all good because I rest.  Then I hear her say, "oh shit, where did it go?" I see that the spider is no longer up on the wall and in fact I cannot see the spider anywhere either. 

The woman is paranoid, she looks every two minutes at the wall, the ceiling, the toilet! for a spider.  When she is close to getting out she sees that down on the rug in front of the sink is this (actually quite large) spider.  Her evil plan is to get out of the tub and get some tissue, as there are no shoes close by and she is alone, and kill the damn thing.  She moves slow, stealthy like, scoots me off of her towel which is my sign to get the hell up and off the counter so I jump down.

Mom screams, "Chelsea get off the spider"  "Dammit"  "Kitty you're sitting on the spider" "UGH UGH UGH"  "Chelsea move" "MOVE" Seriously I had no idea what the hells he was yelling about.  I planted my ass down and lifted my left foot up to scratch my ear.  She now thinks the spider is probably crawling on me and going to end up in her bed.....you know how she gets carried away.  I stop, put my foot down, look at her while she is jumping out of the tub (bad naked) and she shooes me away with a tissue in her hand.  I work my way up to my little paws and say "fine, fine I'll go".  Underneath me is a flat spider.

You're welcome.